Pictures and Words

Hello! My name is Peter C. Hayward, and for the month of February, I am only spending twenty-eight dollars on food! That is less than most prostitutes charge! I hope I do not die!

I lost my camera, but (fortunately) I'm an expert at photoshop. Believe it or not, this wasn't originally a photo of me on some scales. I know! Amazing!

69.3kg (sixty-nine point three pounds) means that I’m down 0.4kg from yesterday. Thus far, I’ve lost exactly 4kg, for an average of  0.27kg/day, or 1.87kg/week.

Here’s a handy graph!

If weight-loss continues at this rate, I will weigh 66.3kg at the end of the month.

I went to the cheap vegie shop to see if they had cheap bread as well, but they did not. Instead, they had onions at 49c/kilo!

49 cents per kilo! For a single day’s worth of food, I could buy two kilograms of onions! That is more onions than any man could reasonably eat in a week! (unless they really, really liked onions.)

I ended up buying 87 cents worth; 1.7755102040816326530612244897959kg.

Today, I haven’t eaten any bread, or even any rice. I have, however, eaten a lot of onions. (I really, really like onions.) I’ve had one roasted onion, one raw onion (surprisingly palatable) and I chopped up and fried one onion. The fried onion tasted the nicest, but it was also the least satisfying – cutting up and frying an onion seems to reduce its mass by at least half. 

I also had three roasted potatoes. I didn’t cut any of the green off, because someone told me that I don’t really need to bother unless I’m pregnant or eating a lot of it. I feel fine; here’s hoping, as I do every day, that I do not die.

Today was my day off, after my ridiculously busy weekend. I looked around for my camera, but couldn’t find it, so my photoshop skills will have to do for now.

Turns out that for me, “day off” is pretty much synonymous with “food that I enjoy”. I’ve spent a great deal of my day off miserable about the fact that I can’t eat any of my favourite foods. The onions have, admittedly, cheered me up quite a bit. I wasn’t a big fan of onions in “normal life”, but the variety that they offer has made me rather fond of them.

I’ll grab some bread tomorrow, but I might stay off rice for a few days, just for variety.

From the comments:

“Em” knows everything:

Hiccups are caused by your phrenic nerve misfiring.  This is the nerve that controls the contractions of the diaphragm. A speech pathologist taught me how to fix them: To trick the phrenic into behaving itself again, take a deep breath, don’t exhale, then breathe in again, then breathe in again. Hold your breath as long as you can. This is boring, but effective.

I tend to get hiccups in groups of about 2 or 3 – I’ll hiccup a few times, then they’ll go away.

Occasionally (very occasionally) I’ll get hiccups for upwards of an hour. These are ridiculously amusing to everyone I’m around at the time, but incredibly painful after a while. When I get them, I try all manner of different breathing techniques, but the only way I can ever get rid of them is drinking a lot of water and lying down, and even then it takes upwards of half an hour. (I inevitably get them when I’m out, and don’t have water on me or the ability to lay down.)

Next time I get the hiccups that will not die, I’ll definitely try that technique. It tends to happen after I’ve had a lot to eat, so I doubt I’ll contract them this month!

Tomorrow I’m having another day off, because I completely wore myself out over the weekend, and I spent a decent amount of time today uploading and reuploading a video for a client.

Tomorrow: Daily Update!

(total money spent so far – $22.28)

My camera is well and truly lost. Until I find it, I’m going to put new posts on hold – once I find it again, I’ll backdate entries until I’ve caught up. Sorry for the inconvenience!