Pictures and Words

So this blog has not been updated for quite a while, and probably won’t be updated again for quite a while to come. In the meantime, here are links to the best that PeterCHayward.com has to offer:

28 Days, 28 Dollars – In 2009, for the entire month of February, I survived on $28 worth of food. No freebies, no cheating – everything I ate came from those twenty-eight dollars. It’s a fascinating read of determination and malnutrition.

Ted Bundy vs Ed Gein – A Scientific Comparison – by far the most popular page of this site (people really like serial killers, I guess.) My friend Canadian Kate and I compared two mass murderers, to determine scientifically which one was “Cooler”. Worth reading even if you’ve never heard of either of them.

The Bouncy Ball Screensaver – Have you grown tired of pipes, scrolling text, “aquarium”, all the dull screensavers that your computer comes with? This screensaver is simple, 2D, and only fills up a portion of a modern monitor, but it’s also the single most addictive screensaver ever committed to code. I dare you to install this, and not have it (at least occasionally) catch your attention and distract you from whatever you’re doing. 10 levels, hours of screensavery fun!

Poems – A variety of poems, ranging from the very serious to the very silly.

Short Film Scripts – A number of short film scripts, all with one thing in common – if you’re interested in filming them, all you have to do is email me and ask! “I’m Pregnant” has already been filmed several times in several different languages, including this great version.

StinkyPete – At the beginning of 2009, I put a plate of meat in my back yard, to watch it rot and record the results. Within three days, all the meat had been stolen, and so I set up a camera to catch the thief. Once that was out of the way, I started again with two plates of meat and a protective cage. Fascinating stuff!

Celibate Sarah – for one month, over-sexed 24 year-old Sarah and her boyfriend attempted to give up sex. To find out what happened to the attempt and the relationship, you’ll have to read your way through this eye-opening study of female sexuality.

Seniors – my first job after leaving school was working at a nursing home. While I was there, I drew a minimalist comic about it, and then (a few years later) added some commentary and stories. It’s not funny, but neither is working in a nursing home.

A review of a Harry Potter review - sure, it’s a bit recursive, and way too long, but it’s a pretty amusing read. My cousin Gavin and I go to town on a fundamentalist Christian’s “review” of Harry Potter.

Sneaky Russian Spy - The first few Questionable Content comics, with the dialogue altered so that it’s a thrilling tale of a Russian Spy and his robot side-kick.

Short Stories – like all writers, I’ve tried my hand at the occasional short story. I’ve also had a go at several novels, but (unlike my short stories) I’ve never actually finished one.

Stickies – A minimalist, stick-figure webcomic from 2004.

Not on the blog:

I’ve got various bits and pieces at websites other than this blog. I’ve got an infrequently-updated Livejournal, and several Twitter streams: My personal one, one for my Facebook updates, one for live-blogging TV shows, and one for my pet penguin.

My cousin Gavin and I run a Facebook page called “Engraved Paint” – become a fan, and get amusing pictures delivered straight to your home page every day.

I’ve got a handful of YouTube pages as well – My main one, my professional one, and one for my editing company.

Summary:

That’s a lot of links. Click through to anything that strikes your fancy. My personal favourites are 28 Days, 28 Dollars and Seniors, but if you’re after something that’s still updating and you have Facebook, I’d strongly recommend becoming a fan of Engraved Paint. Hilarity guaranteed!

I’ve installed a new comment-filtering program, because I was getting upwards of 100 spam comments/day. This one doesn’t let me go in and check for false positives, so if you try to post a comment and it doesn’t show up, email me on peter@thechainsawblokes.com or leave a comment on the livejournal mirror.

There will be new updates, hopefully in the next day or two – I’ve been moving house, which is much more exhausting than I predicted, and has left me little time for writing. Stay tuned!

Hello! My name is Peter C. Hayward, and I love food.

Some delicious cupcakes that my housemate Cannibal Kate made, to celebrate the end of the 28 Days, 28 Dollars project.

28 Days, 28 Dollars:

You may have noticed that the follow-up 28 Days, 28 Dollars posts haven’t gone up yet. The first week of this month has been quite busy for me – I’m catching up on projects that I couldn’t work on while I was food-deprived, editing the Celibate Sarah posts, and above all eating. God I love eating.

The last few 28 Days, 28 Dollars posts will go up in the next week or two, when I get some time to sit down and nut them out. Don’t worry, they have not been forgotten.

Impro:

In other news, I’ve been performing in some short-form improvised theatre lately, in shows run by Edge Improv and Impro Mafia. Here are two scenes from this past week – one starring myself and my cousin Gavin Core, the other starring Gavin, myself, and a local Brisbane improvisor called Joel Gilmore. Enjoy!

Two Line Vocabulary – Cairo, Egypt

Should’ve Said – Up a Tree

Celibate Sarah:

From the comments I’ve received so far, everyone is enjoying the Celibate Sarah posts. (please don’t be shy – leave questions! She is looking forward to answering all of your sex-related enquiries.)

I’ve even had a few people comment that they wish she updated more than twice a week. I was having a chat to her today, and due to uni commitments, it doesn’t look like the comic she was intending on making will be happening as soon as she hoped – as such, we have decided to increase the number of updates.

I can’t say exactly how often there will be updates, but they’ll be slightly shorter and appear more often. If enough comments are left with interesting and relevant questions, we might even be able to increase the frequency to once a day! Go, ask her everything you’ve ever wanted to know about celibacy! She’s not shy!

New “Celibate Sarah” post will be up in the next few hours; in the meantime, here’s a video that was taken at the Pancake Manor, at around 12:05am on March 1st. (full 28 Days, 28 Dollars epilogue will be up tomorrow)

At the pub today, Sarah and I were explaining the project to a friend.

Sarah: So I can’t even be naked in the same room as my boyfriend.
Him: A month without sex? That’s not even a challenge.
Me: She can’t masturbate, either.
Him: What, are you insane!? You’ll never make it!

Next: Day 5 post!

All posts are temporarily delayed – I just got home from taking my housemate Cannibal Kate to hospital. Nothing serious; she stepped on some broken glass and cut her foot. She got four stitches, and has to take a few days off, but she gets to keep the foot.

I panicked slightly on the phone to the emergency services:

Them: How much blood came out? Did it gush, or squirt?
Me: Only a little bit…not enough to drown a rat.

Posts will resume as planned tomorrow.